8 hours before this very word I grasped at a superficial attempt to let you know I am still okay. It was st that, superficial. But 8 hours later I am free enough to give you more.
I must admit that right now I do not feel like doing this. I feel like I just want to hide; everyone knows now, everyone knows what I am. I slept for 13.5 hours, and could have stayed in bed. But I have trained myself to get up, put make up on, do my hair and face the world.
I woke up with a feeling of extreme anxiety. Have I lost credibility? Will people still consider me an asset as a friend, business partner and person that has the same deepest conviction that they knew before this?
In one of the darkest places I have been for quite some time, I was given one of the most precious gifts I have received from someone that only knows me for 3 days. He is the first ‘new person’ that I have allowed to be with me at this epicenter of turmoil.
He said this:
‘I don’t see a knife so I’m not a hostage.
I see someone beautiful in a trap and has all the keys with her in the cage. It’s just to dark from the inside to find the key hole.
I will help you find the key hole on the outside. You need to just give me the right key.
I’m with you and I will see to it that where you can’t hold on I’ll catch you.
If one rope breaks there are plenty more…we will get you out of this’
Enough said, I actually cannot add, detract or improve it.
‘Law, you got me.’