Why & Money? For Love & Faith

Out of a the solid Rock of Faith there is epic beauty

People often ask me what I do, how I live like I do. On my Twitter, Instagram and Facebook profiles, I am seen gallivanting all over the country, roadtriping from Cape Town to Durban and, of-late, all over KwaZulu-Natal (KZN).

At the moment my best explanation is “I do it for love” but I think this needs further explanation. To start where this journey began: I had the bulk of my Public Relations training with Caltex (KZN Branded-Marketer), qualified through University of Cape Town‘s online division (GetSmarter) and then most recently an 8-month stint at Hirsch’s in Cape Town.  In September 2016 I realised I needed to follow my path, tell my story, share for a Higher Purpose.

My life changed radically. After a few weeks I packed up my life and headed back to KZN, what I call my true home. I put my flat on the market and within a week my Heavenly Father provided a buyer, the sale approved for next year. I began my search for a farmlife home in the KZN countryside. (Still a God’s work-in-progress)

The fragrance of Natural

Focus in the Labyrinth

Make time, Its worth it

Yes, that’s all very well, but I know most people are curious as to how I can do what I do, on the money side of it. My reply, “God.”

When I decided to take the first step of Faith unconditional love and leave the comfortable corporate salary at the end of the month, I really started to see how God provides down to the smallest detail. Business is brought in for my supporters, mainly my friend Craig who loves me as unconditionally as a human friend can.

When you realize you are so blessed by what you see

Another example is last night. I arrived at Galleria Mall for the I Love Durban (@ILuvDBN) instameet of the “top most influential socialites” of Durban. The last thing I did before I entered the Mall was finally deplete my persevering perfume. A thought raced through my mind, “hmm, that’s going to have to wait a while.”

And well what do you know, I was awarded for being 1 of 2 most active Social Media Influencers and the prize was Lacoste Pour Elle. Even down to the eloquent scent, it’s the type I would have chosen myself, and aptly named “Natural.”

The Love of Creation

My Faith leads me

I am victorious through Faith

In my opinion, its all about Faith. The more I trust and block all doubt by standing on the solid rock of Faith, the more I am provided for, more awesomeness happens, and in-turn, the stronger my faith becomes, and the cycle starts over. It doesn’t matter how big or small a thing it may be, so many God-incidences (or God Winks) its uncanny!

So basically, I have found my passion in many pools of the river. Photography, Nature, PR, community, development. And my entire approach is not money. Financial gain has taken a back seat. My approach is love. Love of Jesus, His Creation in its entirety, and awestruck at seeing how this Love can impact and change a person, a community, a cause, a planet.

Indescribable Love

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Labyrinth Perspective Betrayed

When something unexpected happens do I flight or fight and is either worth it. Most of the time I do not clearly decide to do either and the plan just evolves. That is what’s been happening in my life over the last week or so.

While trudging through many a canyon of deep turmoil I have made wrong choices. All of these have, in the end, worked together for good, but that does not mean they did not happen and I won’t encounter consequences as a result.

The joy of the Lord is my Strength

I recently was betrayed by a person I had considered a trusted ear, leading to uttered thoughts being exposed without context or time frame. At first I wanted to run, ashamed that the twists of my mind’s labyrinth had been laid bare to someone ill-equipped. But then I wanted to fight, incensed at the refusal to consider perspective along with knowledge. And now I want to wait, not “jump the gun” and my labyrinth’s perspective to be broadened.

I climb higher with You

Broadened Perspective

As painful as this last week has been it has once again worked together for good as I have realized I could be thinking too small. My dream is too small. Who I am to enforce limits? And therefore I will once again wait, allowing myself to be lead into a higher labyrinth.

As each day passes I am astounded by the magnitude of our Creator. Whenever I think I have it figured out, I am given a glimpse of what is possible, the depths of all things working together for good. I cannot yet fathom the heights of this realization, the intricacies of His labyrinth. I am released from the pain of being betrayed because once again its in perspective. I forgive and love them. This is part of the Perfect Plan.

Labyrinth's Enlightened Abyss

I cant see out the abyss, but I know freedom is close 

Has it been snatched away, or has it merely changed form yet again?

Was that sprouting seed transplanted only to perish?

Again, the answers lie in my never-ending dialogue with God,

Faith my guiding light

His light the only guide through my mind’s labyrinth.

My thought’s morph into prayers, bouncing ideas and possibilities off the One greater than myself.

All else has paled in comparison, my nemesis and my dream.

I will keep seeking, Your light always chases away my shadows

All that is left is the road to freedom, finding the road of His Will.

From the canyon once again I seek the #PerfectPlan, but this time is different.

This abyss is not as dark, fear no longer such a cumbersome shadow.

This canyon too shall pass – the victory is already  mine

This in itself gives me new hope, courage and kindness.

The stronger my Faith, the terser becomes my battle and the faster my climb.

The victory is already mine.

Labyrinth's Bridge

I must wait, journey first down my mind’s labyrinth. There I will find the answer to crossing this bridge

The past three days has seen me journey down yet another boulevard of dreams, discovering there is so much more to my labyrinth, my path, my higher calling.

I found myself in that void where glass-house clarity shines through and I stand at new type of bridge. I realised it is not my choice whether or not to cross. I must hold back, listen, watch, wait. I am certain of is that if I force my way over the divide I will fall.

I must persevere down further avenues of my mind’s labyrinth, guided only by the faith in this higher purpose. I will wait for God to take my hand and lead me into the uncharted waters that lie ahead.

Fear of the losing the stability of familiarity and dogma threatens my resolution of trust, and a compulsion to turn back assaults my subconscious.

The magnifying glass shall fall where it must

But determination to persevere towards my purpose has always been a sword in my hand, my Shield of Faith, completing my suit of armor. As I proclaim this strength and protection I am blessed with further glass-house clarity, both of past and of future.

I feel lighter, more free. Yet as I piece together elements of myself, others and hunt for answers in the early years of my life, I know that dark places also lie ahead. Discovering the truth will lead to murky canyons, shadowy tunnels and the deep place of melancholy to which I do not often go.

 

 

But I know that my Father will never let me go, He has given me all I need to climb from the bottomless chasms that await me. That place of wholeness through forgiveness and love that I feel when I ground myself in faith in the His Perfect Plan.

“More often than not you cannot see over the fence. Persevere. You will find that void that will set you free”

I wait in perfect peace for guidance of Labyrinth’s Bridge

Searching Light for Shadows

Searching Light for Shadows

From a dark place my eyes search the light, looking for a shadow;

This the soul of my turmoil, past and present.

I find myself once again in that florescent maze of commotion.

The labyrinth light

Thoughts hurtle across my mind’s night sky,

Colour, light, motion, and feeling ever disturbing my purpose.

I am here; bring me back to to glass-house clarity,

To the dwindling space between reality and my dream.

I have a #HigherCalling – You have the #PerfectPlan

My soul tires of chasing shadows, my mind of the labyrinth.

I am the vessel, redefine my purpose.

I choose Light.

I rest in Your Light, Your promise of a #PurposeDrivenLife

#Roadtrip Labyrinth: Cape Town to Durban & Beyond

After 16 hours on the #Roadtrip – This is the most honest photo I have ever taken of myself

Before #Roadtrip

Five days ago I left my home town of  Cape Town to return to Durban and search the greater Kwazulu-Natal area for my farm.

“Farmward and Upward”

My true friend Craig flew down from his home town of Durban North, I collected him at Cape Town International Airport at 21:30 on Tuesday 18 October 2016 and we began the 1644 kilometer journey across South Africa.

My luggage included my pet: Papillon (cat) and Champignon (hairy-back tarantula whom I did not mention before as the Western Cape Province of South Africa prohibits such exotic pets, but Kwazulu-Natal allows them.

I documented and shared on social media the entire #roadtrip journey of 18 hours 12 minutes. From the dark passages of roadway leaving the Western Cape to the sunrise through the Karoo, on to the flat plains of the Free State and lastly the lush and tropical Kwazulu-Natal countryside, ending on the East Coast in Glenashley, Durban North. (Check out #RoadTrip from the beginning on Twitter)

Over 3 days, prior and during the #roadtrip, I only managed to get 7 hours sleep, the excitement and mind-labyrinths were too intense for sleeping. The last 5 days since arriving in Durban have been of recovery and rest. I have also been further exploring every silk avenue of web weaving an intricate pattern in my subconscious, often feeling  overwhelmed.

The person I took into my home before leaving Cape Town, my first patient in my rehab trial, is doing well. I set him up with a basic smart-phone for all-day Whatsapp contact and once-daily he goes to a local internet cafe to Skype video-call. He has also acquired a casual job, his hope growing into purpose with the idea of farming, healing and freedom.

However I find myself being extremely cautious of becoming any more emotionally involved, as it proves to be a distraction from my goal. My prayer now is for focus. Last night I spent hours seeking God, praying for further direction and freedom from this sense of doubt and fear that I have journeyed down the wrong vein of the labyrinth.

“Keep going, keep pushing through. I have given you all you need for this, don’t lose sight of what I have set before you.”

An intense feeling of relief flooded over me, knowing that this is all part of the #PerfectPlan for my life and for others. This is not about stats, impressions or likes, not the first patient and definitely not me. This is about something bigger, a #HigherCalling a #PurposeDrivenLife.

Creator, Farming, Healing, Freedom

Last Photo from Bloubergstrand – Cape Town West Coast

The Love of our Creator is so great He created everything we need on this earth to survive. Plants such as Sutherlandia Cancer Bush, Ginko, Gotu Kola, Catnip, Wormwood and of course Aloe Vera, Wild Nettle and Enchinacea all are just some of the healing treasure-troves of nature.

There are mountain-people and you get sea-people.Since childhood I have been a mountain person, not particularly fond of sea nor sand. Give me tropical forests, waterfalls and misty altitude. I have green fingers. I love the quiet and peace of nature. I then had to undergo the natural process of losing oneself to find one’s better self.

Cape Flora in Silvermine Nature Reserve

But Over the last 8 years these words have passed from my lips and my heart, their cry intensifying with each breath.

“I want go into the bush and grow my own food”

It was a dream, but His #PerfectPlan is once again boggling my mind. Another light-bulb moment has just occurred as I sit awake after finishing packing up my flat. This is how I marry the three desires of my heart:

1. Place of safety for the broken – healing through Jesus and His Creation.
2. Living in the bush and growing my own food, a completely self-sustainable property, my passion for healthy living, my love of everything He made.
3. PR, Writing, Social Media, my love of Country community, start-up growth: people growth.

Back of Table Mountain View from Ou Kaapse Weg (Old Cape Road)

Nature, local community, farming, healing, environment – I will take you along that journey too. Everything capturing some of the beauty of this country, this world, Our Creator, His children.

It’s  after 4:30 AM in Cape Town, South Africa and I have not slept. My original flight plan has been changed for Google Maps as I am taking the Leap of Faith. I have just finished packing up all my belongs over 2 days, and spent valuable time with 2 close friends, my last day belongs to family.

Tonight my #truefriend Craig flies from Durban, and by this time tomorrow we will already be 2 hours into out 16 hours #roadtrip from Cape Town to lush, green and tropical Durban, Kwazulu-Natal.

Cape Town – Silvermine Nature Reserve

Even if I didn’t have to remove all decorative part of me from this home, for two nights sleep has been yet a shadow. My mind is alive by His leading me on my treasure-hunt for the piece of land that He has chosen for me, to use, for Us. #PerfectPlan.

#StayTuned