Those of you that follow me probably at one stage wondered why melacholymons was silent for two years. Just after I returned from France in 2014 my career took a turn and I found myself lending my hand to content and creative control of the corporate website. To cut all long stories short, I am now back in my home town of Cape Town, South Africa (SA), having studied and qualified in what I love, I am Monique at PR.
So what inspired to me set my fingers to the keyboard on a more private rather than professional note? For those of you that do not know the story, I am going to let you in.
Since a young age I have loved to write. The natural flow and order in chaos of the English language is fascinating to me, the delightfully daunting game of my OCD in words, the right fit, focus and the right feeling.
I completed my American High School Education through correspondence course in half of the 4 years assigned and was accepted with flying colours into the University of Cape Town (UCT) to study a Bachelor of Arts (BA): English, Media and Writing. Shortly after that I discovered that I could not begin study as SA did not recognise the SATs (US American High School Diploma). The way forward was an exemption certificate from Department of Home Affairs, to which I have applied 3 times and the government of our fair land being as it was/is, I have not yet received it 14 years later. Crushed as I was I enrolled in a Secretarial course and my life took a different turn.
I tell my fellow Capetonians now that I found myself in Kwazulu Natal.. When I was living in Cape Town I didn’t know who or what I was, 10 years I was in Durban and I went through hell for heaven’s sake. Through the avenues and gutters, victories and burdens, butterflies and sorrow, love and loss I battled, a quiet Friend alongside me guiding me to finding me.
From 2012 – 2015 I was running, albeit in the right direction. Studying an average of two courses per year, I qualified in Writing for the Web (SA Writers College), Web Design (Web Design Academy), Safe Work Practices (Chevron – qualified High Risk Permit Issuer and Harmful Gas Tester), Retailer – Service Station – Operation (Chevron), and lastly Public Relations (UCT‘s online division – GetSmarter.co.za).
God brought people in and out of my life, and few of them are in for life. Without these helpers I would not be the gift I am today.
Looking back I see the incredible power of God’s hand over my life. I have realised that if I had completed the BA I would not have been able to write like I do now. Up until last year I have not before felt the peace, closeness and constant protection and love I do when I get into that quiet place with Jesus. I am complete. What I sometimes liken it to is the feeling of being in the womb (I am guessing); complete, encompassing wholeness, peace and comfort.
I cannot wait to go home. This life is temporary, real life begin after this. But I know I have too much to do. There are too any people that need to feel this way, need to know this wholeness, this is what we are all searching for. Not religion, church, nor people, but that wholeness. If we all have this, we will all be complete, living in love, religion will be nonexistent, churches as they were supposed to be, mankind temples of the Holy Spirit, Jesus here on earth.
This is my philosophy, and this is what I have found. MELANCHOLY, the word I have felt a strange kinsman-ship to over the years. I found out why: with this love comes a deep burden of sorrow, pain of the others emptiness and wondering.
Monique means alone or wise councilor, this too is a wonderous and true introspection. I love to be alone, I love my own company. I spent so many years running, always trying to fill it with people. Yes, I still run, I have not yet arrived. I am a human being, not a godly being, and I will fall, but my peace comes from proof. The evidence is in the past. Each time I have thought there was no where to turn, His way is perfect, His plan is perfect. In little things, in big things. And to be alone with Him is a piece of paradise.
It is amazing to wake up everyday and know that you are walking in victory and you are doing what you love. The excitement is contagious. I write on a daily basis, I cook regularly for my job, just two of things God has given me that I love to do.
She made broken look beautiful, strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings – Ariana Dancu.
Jesus makes beautiful to perfection, invincible to everlasting. He makes my wings unfailing, my soul fly in the clouds – Monique van der Walt