
Stubborn dewdrops like memories as rolling mist like emotion swoops on Bulwer Mountain – Autobiography’s Journey
If you’re new here, lets do a quick recap of what’s happened thus far…
September 2016 I fired my boss to completely live by Faith, doing whatever I felt God lead me to do. I have always had a deep knowledge that I need to write my autobiography, and from a few simple sentences from a few special people, I took the first step. I also knew that I would never be able to fulfill Gods purpose for my life while working in the corporate world; I needed to tell my story, heal through helping others.
My long-standing, and frequently spoken distant desire to “move into the bush and grow my own food” became a vital in my moving forward. Sustainable-living and a place of refuge for the broken to heal, were and perhaps still are plans for the future.
I was in my home town of Cape Town and within less than 2 weeks of resigning, I packed up my flat, loaded what I could in my Hyundai Atos and returned to my beloved KwaZuluNatal. I put my Milnerton flat on the market and God sold it within a week, so began my search for a farm/country house & spacious garden or even completely wild land.
And I have found it in the Southern Drakensberg in my beloved country South Africa. Tomorrow I move in to my new property. For the past 6 weeks I have been renting in Bulwer and cannot wait for my furniture to arrive from the Mother City sometime within the week. God has even provided additional housing & tenants for immediate income! It is almost surreal, its such a dream come true.
But it has most definitely not been all flowers and hearts. In writing my autobiography, I have delved into the deepest canyons of some of my darkest memories, reliving their horror over and over. My last post was one of the most dark, and it has taken me a while to come back here.
I have written about them before in my youth, but this time is different. The horror of those memories is deep and disgusting, but I have a shield and a blanket of comfort in my Saviour. I also know that I am writing from a place of sheer ambition and determination. My accountability to you motivated me, the hope that someone will take courage in my story drives me to push on.
I do not post everything I draft in that file in My Documents called Autobiography Full. I write as I am lead; I pray for inspiration, a memory or a desire to pound my thoughts to page. And I have been reliving so many moments, memories and feelings that have not entered my mind’s labyrinth in years. It it scary and satisfying.
My burdens are lightened because I have found courage in this near perfect part of the world. I have lived in countless areas, cities and traveled worldwide; but somehow here in the Southern Drakensberg, I feel as if I have found my home base and its wonderful.
The infrastructure of the village of Bulwer is on the up and up. A Municipality building is being built and within the last 2 months all the telephone poles have been replaced, and new stops signs continue to pop up. Now all we need is a Telkom Exchange for Wifi, I have Faith that it will come soon.
So as I am at yet another huge life event, I thought I would fill you in. My journey is wild, erratic, petrifying, and gloriously incredible thus far. I am amazed daily at the perfect love and plan Jesus has for me. Yet, of course I know that there will be more canyons of emotion on my journey. But I also know that God has carried, dragged and rescued me countless times already.
In each passing canyon there is less quicksand, and each verge of Saving Grace is a far greater place than I could ever have imagined.
But as I lift my hands I understand that I should Praise You through my circumstance! – Shackles (PraiseYou) – Mary J Blige